Toxic positivity: Why we need to stop gaslighting ourselves

Toxic positivity: Why we need to stop gaslighting ourselves

Toxic positivity is the idea that we should hide or deny the negative feelings we encounter. It is the dismissal of emotional responses that we consider to be negative or “bad”, through the application of superficial reassurances, in the place of empathy (for example: “look on the bright side!” or “It could be a lot worse!”). This is often accompanied by the assumption that the negative emotions we feel are not useful or necessary.

Toxic positivity usually comes from a place of well-meaning (many of us have an intrinsic drive to want to ‘fix’ things), but can cause feelings of disconnect and shame – and can prevent us from processing important life events, and truly understanding our feelings. Although usually well-meaning, toxic positivity can be a kind of defence mechanism for people who feel discomfort sitting with their own (and others’) feelings – it can be used as a way to silence ‘uncomfortable’ discussions.

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